I know you have been biting your nails and refreshing the blog page over and over in uncontainable anticipation at the prospect of my Black Friday play-by-play.
(Or, you're so busy indulging your waistline with turkey and pie leftovers and sacrificing your day over to football to give much thought to Christmas shopping.)
Here is how Black Friday is done:
Black Friday always begins on Thursday when I read and reread the newspaper inserts and advertisements, meticulously mapping out my route and crafty plan of attack for the following morning's retail mayhem.
Once full on Thanksgiving feast and pie drunk, I settle in for an uncharacteristically early slumber (and consequently toss and turn, because hello...who goes to bed that early ever??? And besides, I'm like a 5-year old trying to sleep on Christmas Eve--sleep just doesn't happen.).
My alarm goes off at 2:45 a.m.,
But I've been laying awake staring at the darn thing for almost 5 solid minutes as if waiting for the dismissal bell at school. Only, this time, I'm being given the green light to get up, slip into my jeans and hoodie, brush my pearly whites, run a comb through my tangles and grab a Diet Coke on my way out to the car.
3:00 a.m.
I'm driving to my mom's house. Shivering slightly because it's friggin cold and I'm still trying to focus as my eyes are still a bit blurry from sleep.
(Kohls is open now and since we tried Kohls the year before and it was the stuff nightmares are made of, we opted out of it this year.)
3:15 a.m.
I arrive at my mom's to find her waiting outside, cinnamon rolls in hand
(did I ever tell you that I have the best mom ever????).
3:40 a.m.
We arrive at JC Penney to find a line forming outside the doors. Crazy fools. When those doors are unlocked, we won't conform to the orderliness of the line and just cut in line at the chaos of the store entrance. And we won't be stiff from the biting cold, therefore allowing our unfrozen limbs to move faster as we dash through the store.
4:00 a.m.
IT BEGINS!!!
First stop: luggage. 5 piece. $38. Made it there just in time to snag a set before all that is left of the pile is the trampled sign advertising the sale.
Second stop: 50% off kid's jeans, Star Wars jammies and Star Wars tees.
Third stop....
Oooh, wait, detour, sweater sale. 70% off!!! Gotta stop.
Okay, third stop: jewelry (just to browse).
Fourth stop: Coats. Stop the presses people! we have found a the perfect puffer vest with fur-lined hood in jewel-toned eggplant. Price: $100. Discount: $64. Final prices: $36. Merry Christmas to me!!!
Fifth stop: Registers. Estimated wait time: 20 minutes.
Unplanned purchase: 4 Boise State nutcracker ornaments. Can't live without!!!
5:13 a.m.
COLD, WINDY, FRIGID, SUBZERO TEMPS, ICE.
We dash from the store and flat out run to the car before we look like a grown up version of freeze tag.
5:17 a.m.
Sonic. What do you mean you don't open until 6 a.m.???
We need a caffeine fix like now, people! Groan, U-turn, head to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
5:28 a.m.
AWESOME parking spot. ZERO crowd. Such a crazy contrast to the year before.
5:31
It smells like Yankee Candles in here...
Ooh, there's the pastry cutter I spent copious amounts of time searching for a day or two before thanksgiving. It lands in my cart.
Mindless browsing: Hmmm...that's nice. That's soft. Look how cute.
Yawn. Crap...I've got to pee.
And then, jackpot: The clock radio with nature sounds that projects the time onto the ceiling. Clarke will love this (but since we only exchange stockings, he'll have to get this today.).
ADORABLE: space ship alarm clock that projects time and space onto the ceiling. This will be perfect with our Star Wars Christmas theme for Brock this year.
Aha. The Boise State stuff. Car decals! I have to buy two of these because each package only includes one dog. But we have two dogs, so I snag a second package and drop into my cart.
We browse for a bit longer and then call it quits with that store.
To the registers!!! Wait time: 2 1/2 minutes.
20% off entire purchase! Woot!
Still have to pee...
6:01 a.m.
Sonic revisited.
Yes, we'd like 2 route 44 Diet cokes and 2 breakfast burritos. Thanks.
(and why the heck weren't you open at 5, hmmmmm????)
6:09 a.m.
Driving to our favorite Fred Meyer (and yes, we have a favorite and no, it's not near home).
6:26 a.m.
Fred Meyer. AWESOME parking spot! It looks kind of crowded....
*slurp, slurp, slurp* Ahhhhhhhhhh....caffeine, how I love thee on Black Friday.
1/2 price socks. 50% Christmas decor, buy one get one free games!!! And hello, stocking stuffer heaven!
We look at everything. Browse through the books. I price out the Legos. Still not on sale. Boo! My mom grabs some hot cocoa, and we check out. Wait time: 4 minutes.
My bladder is still reminding me that it needs a restroom...
8:09 a.m.
Drop mom off to work. Late. Woops. Sorry mom. But hey, her boss understands b/c he made her work on Black Friday (ahem, you don't just do that to a die hard shopper, sir!) and she also brought some Poinsettia's as a peace offering. All is merry and bright.
8:40 a.m.
Pick up Brock from my brother's house--he spent the night. Take nephew with us as a return favor.
Forget to use the bathroom while I'm there...
9:00 a.m.
Home. Run wildly to the bathroom. Ahhhh...
Send boys to Brock's room to play b/c momma is not done shopping yet.
9:06 a.m.
Diet Coke in hand, I settle into my squeaky computer chair and go online.
9:40 a.m.
Perusing three online sales at the same time. Loading my carts, comparing prices...
Many retailers will extend their Black Friday sales online. Places like Target. Walmart. Old Navy, Toys r Us and even Amazon.com. On the years that mom doesn't work on Black Friday, we might stop at these stores in person, but this year is different.
10:00 a.m.
Taking a break to do a task that has been calling out my name since we walked in the door: the dishes. Ew. Seriously, Thanksgiving clean-up is a pain! I scrub down my counters, entertain a chorus of "Is it snack time yet?" from the kids, text a friend, rub my aching eyes who want nothing more than 4 more hours of sleep, shake off the fatigue and switch out a load of laundry.
10:30 a.m.
Back to the computer. I stare at the items littering my online shopping carts and carefully consider if I should press the "submit" button on my orders. I drum my fingers, do a little more comparison shopping, mentally negotiate with my rational side that tells me to scrap Christmas shopping and pay off debt instead and then casually ignore that voice of reason and submit my orders.
11:00 a.m.
DONE SHOPPING.
Sure, I have a few people left to shop for,
but have you ever heard of a little thing called Cyber Monday???
11:03 a.m.
I celebrate my conquer with a slice of apple pie!
Conclusion:
Overall, I saved more than I spent (over twice as much saved!!!), paid for everything in cash, went in prepared--knowing what I wanted and what I was willing to give up. I did my research, compared prices, took advantages of coupons and such and feel great about my inner shopping genius.
Truth is folks, Black Friday is just good for the soul.
(Or, you're so busy indulging your waistline with turkey and pie leftovers and sacrificing your day over to football to give much thought to Christmas shopping.)
Here is how Black Friday is done:
Black Friday always begins on Thursday when I read and reread the newspaper inserts and advertisements, meticulously mapping out my route and crafty plan of attack for the following morning's retail mayhem.
Once full on Thanksgiving feast and pie drunk, I settle in for an uncharacteristically early slumber (and consequently toss and turn, because hello...who goes to bed that early ever??? And besides, I'm like a 5-year old trying to sleep on Christmas Eve--sleep just doesn't happen.).
My alarm goes off at 2:45 a.m.,
But I've been laying awake staring at the darn thing for almost 5 solid minutes as if waiting for the dismissal bell at school. Only, this time, I'm being given the green light to get up, slip into my jeans and hoodie, brush my pearly whites, run a comb through my tangles and grab a Diet Coke on my way out to the car.
3:00 a.m.
I'm driving to my mom's house. Shivering slightly because it's friggin cold and I'm still trying to focus as my eyes are still a bit blurry from sleep.
(Kohls is open now and since we tried Kohls the year before and it was the stuff nightmares are made of, we opted out of it this year.)
3:15 a.m.
I arrive at my mom's to find her waiting outside, cinnamon rolls in hand
(did I ever tell you that I have the best mom ever????).
3:40 a.m.
We arrive at JC Penney to find a line forming outside the doors. Crazy fools. When those doors are unlocked, we won't conform to the orderliness of the line and just cut in line at the chaos of the store entrance. And we won't be stiff from the biting cold, therefore allowing our unfrozen limbs to move faster as we dash through the store.
4:00 a.m.
IT BEGINS!!!
First stop: luggage. 5 piece. $38. Made it there just in time to snag a set before all that is left of the pile is the trampled sign advertising the sale.
Second stop: 50% off kid's jeans, Star Wars jammies and Star Wars tees.
Third stop....
Oooh, wait, detour, sweater sale. 70% off!!! Gotta stop.
Okay, third stop: jewelry (just to browse).
Fourth stop: Coats. Stop the presses people! we have found a the perfect puffer vest with fur-lined hood in jewel-toned eggplant. Price: $100. Discount: $64. Final prices: $36. Merry Christmas to me!!!
Fifth stop: Registers. Estimated wait time: 20 minutes.
Unplanned purchase: 4 Boise State nutcracker ornaments. Can't live without!!!
5:13 a.m.
COLD, WINDY, FRIGID, SUBZERO TEMPS, ICE.
We dash from the store and flat out run to the car before we look like a grown up version of freeze tag.
5:17 a.m.
Sonic. What do you mean you don't open until 6 a.m.???
We need a caffeine fix like now, people! Groan, U-turn, head to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
5:28 a.m.
AWESOME parking spot. ZERO crowd. Such a crazy contrast to the year before.
5:31
It smells like Yankee Candles in here...
Ooh, there's the pastry cutter I spent copious amounts of time searching for a day or two before thanksgiving. It lands in my cart.
Mindless browsing: Hmmm...that's nice. That's soft. Look how cute.
Yawn. Crap...I've got to pee.
And then, jackpot: The clock radio with nature sounds that projects the time onto the ceiling. Clarke will love this (but since we only exchange stockings, he'll have to get this today.).
ADORABLE: space ship alarm clock that projects time and space onto the ceiling. This will be perfect with our Star Wars Christmas theme for Brock this year.
Aha. The Boise State stuff. Car decals! I have to buy two of these because each package only includes one dog. But we have two dogs, so I snag a second package and drop into my cart.
We browse for a bit longer and then call it quits with that store.
To the registers!!! Wait time: 2 1/2 minutes.
20% off entire purchase! Woot!
Still have to pee...
6:01 a.m.
Sonic revisited.
Yes, we'd like 2 route 44 Diet cokes and 2 breakfast burritos. Thanks.
(and why the heck weren't you open at 5, hmmmmm????)
6:09 a.m.
Driving to our favorite Fred Meyer (and yes, we have a favorite and no, it's not near home).
6:26 a.m.
Fred Meyer. AWESOME parking spot! It looks kind of crowded....
*slurp, slurp, slurp* Ahhhhhhhhhh....caffeine, how I love thee on Black Friday.
1/2 price socks. 50% Christmas decor, buy one get one free games!!! And hello, stocking stuffer heaven!
We look at everything. Browse through the books. I price out the Legos. Still not on sale. Boo! My mom grabs some hot cocoa, and we check out. Wait time: 4 minutes.
My bladder is still reminding me that it needs a restroom...
8:09 a.m.
Drop mom off to work. Late. Woops. Sorry mom. But hey, her boss understands b/c he made her work on Black Friday (ahem, you don't just do that to a die hard shopper, sir!) and she also brought some Poinsettia's as a peace offering. All is merry and bright.
8:40 a.m.
Pick up Brock from my brother's house--he spent the night. Take nephew with us as a return favor.
Forget to use the bathroom while I'm there...
9:00 a.m.
Home. Run wildly to the bathroom. Ahhhh...
Send boys to Brock's room to play b/c momma is not done shopping yet.
9:06 a.m.
Diet Coke in hand, I settle into my squeaky computer chair and go online.
9:40 a.m.
Perusing three online sales at the same time. Loading my carts, comparing prices...
Many retailers will extend their Black Friday sales online. Places like Target. Walmart. Old Navy, Toys r Us and even Amazon.com. On the years that mom doesn't work on Black Friday, we might stop at these stores in person, but this year is different.
10:00 a.m.
Taking a break to do a task that has been calling out my name since we walked in the door: the dishes. Ew. Seriously, Thanksgiving clean-up is a pain! I scrub down my counters, entertain a chorus of "Is it snack time yet?" from the kids, text a friend, rub my aching eyes who want nothing more than 4 more hours of sleep, shake off the fatigue and switch out a load of laundry.
10:30 a.m.
Back to the computer. I stare at the items littering my online shopping carts and carefully consider if I should press the "submit" button on my orders. I drum my fingers, do a little more comparison shopping, mentally negotiate with my rational side that tells me to scrap Christmas shopping and pay off debt instead and then casually ignore that voice of reason and submit my orders.
11:00 a.m.
DONE SHOPPING.
Sure, I have a few people left to shop for,
but have you ever heard of a little thing called Cyber Monday???
11:03 a.m.
I celebrate my conquer with a slice of apple pie!
Conclusion:
Overall, I saved more than I spent (over twice as much saved!!!), paid for everything in cash, went in prepared--knowing what I wanted and what I was willing to give up. I did my research, compared prices, took advantages of coupons and such and feel great about my inner shopping genius.
Truth is folks, Black Friday is just good for the soul.
