I *HEART* Santa

Saturday was one of those days that found me at my breaking point.

I had been fighting Brock all day long with behavioral issues, namely tantrums and talking back and quite frankly, I was exhausted. So I did what any brilliant mom would do on the brink of a meltdown: I picked up my cell phone, dialed a phony number, and proceeded to talk to Santa's head elf; while Brock stood there in front of me, dumbfounded and then panicked. He tearfully shouted "NO" and frantically attempted to reach for my phone while I tensely explained to the elf that Brock's name needed to be moved to the Naughty List. Brock howled in horror and I salaciously smiled and thanked the non-existent elf for his compliance. My mood went from desperate to joyful in those short minutes and Brock has been in a state of heightened OBEDIENCE ever since.

The leverage that the jolly man in red offers parents at Christmastime is undoubtedly the most valuable tool an any parental arsenal. For what could be more traumatizing than waking up Christmas morning to find that Santa had skipped your house?

It never ceases to amaze me that Brock doesn't see right through me when I threaten him with no gifts at Christmastime or when I pull some ridiculous stunt such as calling Santa's elves; after all which mom doesn't have Santa on speed dial? It amazes me and makes me giddy with pleasure because it means that Brock has bought into the exhilarating magic that is Christmastime;
the magic of childhood.

Looks like I may have to call Santa back and tell him that Brock's name can be moved to the "Nice List" after all.

Whew!

I don't think I have the courage (or cruelty?) to satisfy empty threats to withhold Christmas gifts from my only child.

"4" Ever Young

On Sunday our one and only little boy turned FOUR!!!

It was a bittersweet day full of excitement, gifts, cousins, cake, temper tantrums, lightsabers, laughter, one meltdown and a very, very late bedtime. Thank you to all of our friends and family who showered Brock with attention on Sunday. He was so enthralled with the events on his birthday that first thing Monday morning he began planning his next birthday party; which he informed us would be on Tuesday.
Eeep!
That's today!
Thank heavens his memory is as short as his attention span!


Four Years Ago...


December 13th, 2009:


He wanted the movie 'Chronicles of Narnia' because it has swords (naturally)...
My first and last attempt at a Star Wars cake:
Hello handsomes....
Our darling nephew, Travis:

Cousins Jamin and Jake watching in anticipation as Brock opens Star Wars Play-Doh:

Cousins Tyler, Brandon, & Kaleb getting into the gift opening too
I created a fun slide show chronicling Brock's fourth year in pictures.
The music changed, for those of you who saw it on Sunday night.

"Innocence" by Inside Out

Deck the Halls

In the midst of general holiday busy-ness, photo shoots, activities, parties, shopping and the day to day monotony, we managed to put up Christmas, at last. Or as much as I intend to put up this year. You see, I've run out of house! I can't decorate any more than I already have this year and still have a few boxes full of decorations that won't get used this season.

Our tree would not be complete this year without a little reminder of Amelia (who would have been about 5 months old had life turned out differently):

LDS Humor

Yes, Mormons have a sense of humor! These 13 "principles" are a parody on the 13 Articles of Faith. Don't be afraid to chuckle and nod in agreement.

1. We believe in SUVs and minivans, as the form of transportation, and in knee length shorts, which are always nice, and in the multilevel marketing.

2. We believe that church ball players should be punished for their own fouls, and not for unsportsmanlike aggression.

3. We believe that through bread crumbs, cheese, creamy soups, and rice all casseroles can be saved through obedience to ward cookbooks and creativity in the mixing bowl.

4. We believe that the first layers and ingredients of the Dip are: first, beans; second, cheese; third, chopped tomatoes; fourth, the gift of sour cream; fifth, olives; sixth, salsa; seventh, guacamole, that is, if you have it.

5. We believe that a Mormon should have a distinguished or a cute name, that
it is appropriate to name a child after a church leader or a historical
figure including an ancestor, that alternative spellings and French prefixes
only add to a name, and that when referring to the names of General
Authorities, middle initials should be a part thereof.

6. We believe in the same wall decor that exists in many Mormon homes,
namely, framed family proclamations, vinyl lettering, inspirational word
signs, family photos, pictures of temples and Jesus, and so forth.

7. We believe in the gift of the re-gift, church books, crafts, family
photos, baked goods, emergency supply kits, and so forth.

8. We believe in sparkling grape juice so long as it is nonalcoholic; we
also believe in bringing root beer and sprite to ward parties.

9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now
scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and
important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.

10. We believe in the literal mixing of ketchup and mayo and in the generous
application of ranch dressing; that CBAs (church-based acronyms) will be
used to describe YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO, and CTR; that Mitt Romney will get
Mormons to vote for him any time he runs; and, that the Mormons will enjoy
reading Twilight and The Work and the Glory.

11. We claim the privilege of trying to identify common acquaintances with
any visitor at church, and allow all other people at church the same
privilege, and let them name drop the names of Famous and general
authorities how, where, or what they may.

12. We believe in being subject to scoutmasters, pampered chef hostesses,
and the writers of the U.S. News and World Report Rankings for professional
schools, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining Glenn Beck.

13. We believe in being above average, good at crafts, optimistic, and being
fifteen minutes late everywhere we go. Indeed, we may say that we follow BYU football. We believe rumors about famous people joining the church, we hope
to meet the three Nephites, we have endured many pyramid schemes, and hope
to be able to endure all pyramid schemes. If there is anything cheap, free,
sold in bulk, or given away when somebody is moving, we seek after these
things.

November in a Nutshell

I haven't blogged much about our family this month, per se, and now that November is just a few hours short of expiration, I'm going to aspire to my characteristic procrastination and sneak in a little last minute "family update."

First of all, November, which is ordinarily quiet and relatively uneventful, has been extraordinarily busy, tugging our family in so many directions that keeping on top of things is akin to living a fantasy.

Brock loves letters. He's always scribbling letters on paper and on his chalkboard. Sometimes he just scribbles lines and asks me if it looks like writing. I say yes to humor him but its a great reminder to step up the preschool basics that he should have mastered already. A few weeks ago, we had a family home evening lesson about the stripling warriors and Brock has been fascinated ever since with the Nephites and the Lamanites; interested to the point of educating his sunbeam teacher all about them last Sunday. I feel like I've been dipped in pure joy when those lessons resonate with Brock because simple little lessons like putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket do not make such a bold impression.

Clarke. Studly. Sexy. Service Technician. LOSER.
Yes, my husband is a loser.
He's lost 20 pounds since starting his new position as a service technician two months ago.
TWENTY POUNDS!!!!!!
And its still melting off. LUCKY.
He's already had to add two additional notches in his belt!
I would normally hate him b/c of his amazing weight loss, but I don't.
Instead I stuff his lunch full of chips and rice krispy treats to slow him down!
Bwahahahahaha!

I'm overwhelmed with portrait sessions right now and quite honestly stunned at business. Surprised and GRATEFUL! Who would have though that a wedding photographer would do so well in family picture season???? Its so much fun to meet so many families!!! I started working out every morning at 5 a.m. YES, 5 a.m. My phenomenal husband cleared out a spot in his garage to set up a workout station for me, complete with surround sound (that's true love for ya)! My second favorite holiday of the year came and went quickly and rather successfully. No, not Thanksgiving. Black Friday=Bliss! Its theraputic to finally spend all that money we had saved for months on those rockin' doorbuster deals! I saved a whopping $300.00 and snagged some fab finds this year! Christmas giving will be a blast!

Last week we put up our Christmas tree and decked our halls....and our plant shelves....and our tabletops, and the walls with all sorts of Christmas decor and I came to the tragic realization that I've run out of house for all my decorations. Earlier this month we entertained the thought of putting in an offer on a 3000 sq ft house that Clarke helped build a few years ago. We indulged in ten minutes of wondering before our fantasies were doused with a cold wave of realization that we'd have to sell our house first. Yeah, like that will happen anytime soon! Ha! Maybe next year we'll revisit our 3000 sq ft fantasy. :)

Gratitude

Thanksgiving is a man's holiday.
The women cook. The men watch football.
The women do the dishes. The men play football.
The women watch the kids. The men go shooting.
The women clean up after everyone. The men RELAX.

Sometimes, we lose sight of the importance of Thanksgiving in the absolute madness of preparing a large meal for a big group; a meal that takes HOURS to make, twenty minutes to eat, and six hours to digest. But that's not what Thanksgiving is about.
Its about expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for his bounteous blessings.

This video features a phenomenal story of two little boys and a most profound experience with gratitude. It's a story told by President Gordon B. Hinckley (so you know its going to be good!).

The Blessing Jar

For Family Home Evening, we had been contemplating a fun and effective lesson that would best illustrate the principle of gratitude. We decided to establish a family "blessings" jar; something that we can take out each year at Thanksgiving to help remind us how much we have been blessed as a family and to who we should offer gratitude.

TheTwilight Saga: New Moon

For MONTHS, the hearts of millions and millions of teenage girls, and their mothers alike, were beating wildly at the thought of November 20th as it signaled the release of Twilight: New Moon.

I'm not a card-carrying, heart-palpitating, t-shirt-wearing, I-dream-of-Edward, member of the Twilight craze. Admittedly, I enjoyed the books. But I only read them once. I know....*gasp!*
Oh, and I saw the first movie.
It was passively enjoyable, if you discount much of the acting.
Keeping the company of other "moms" who indulged in Twilight was the clincher.

Of the four books in the Twilight series, reading New Moon was, I'm sorry Twilight-a-holics, agonizing. It was a whiny 300+ pages of dismal heartbreak and hopelessness, until the last couple of chapters. Understandably, it was with hesitation that I considered the second movie with only a fraction of the anticipation of MANY other women I know, but will not mention names. You know who you are.

And what did I get for my hesitation? Satisfaction, that's what!

The movie was FANTASTIC!!! It squashed the book (and how often do you hear that?)! With a new director, bigger budget, acting lessons, and some hard bodies (yeah, so I'm a girl. I kinda like that in a guy), the least favorite book of the series has turned into the better of the two Twilight movies....so far. As an added bonus, it followed the book fairly closely. The next movie in the series, Twilight: Eclipse, is due for release next June. Its safe to say that I'm looking forward to that one!

What are you thankul for?

Brighten up your day with this random sampling of people on the streets of NYC:

Run!

Once upon a time, I had a dream I was being chased, through my little town of Kuna, by a ferocious Tyrannosaurus Rex. True story. I was dodging in and around houses and buildings, struggling to stay out of sight of the prehistoric beast, watching in horror as it feasted on other people; victims who, unfortunately, did not possess my speed and awe-inspiring athleticism.

Actually, it wasn't once upon a time. It was just a few months ago and boy did I feel ridiculous when I woke up in a panicked sweat. Running from an imaginary beast. Me?

Only here's the problem (and the horrible reality). I couldn't outrun a dinosaur to save my life.

Because:

And herein lies my dilemma.

Clarke has already lost TEN pounds in the last month.
I think I've gained every pound he's lost.
And all because my relentless sweet tooth has clouded any resolve I might have to shimmy myself into those skinny jeans before Christmas.

So unless I conjur up a Tyrannosaurus to keep me by running for my life, all this quality cellulite might become permenent. YIKES!!!!

Smells Like...

Fall!

Actually, no, it smells like banana bread.
But banana bread smells like Fall!

I only bake banana bread a few times a year, almost always in autumn.
Its divine with a mug of warm cider.
And, like almost all of my favorite recipes, it has no redeeming nutritional value whatsoever!
(which explains why it is FABULOUS!!!)



Sour Cream Banana Bread (with a cinnamon sugar crust!!)

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 3/4 cup butter
• 3 cups white sugar
• 3 eggs
• 6 very ripe bananas, mashed
• 1 (16 ounce) container sour cream
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3 teaspoons baking soda
• 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease two 9x5 inch loaf pans. In a small bowl, stir together 1/4 cup white sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Dust pans lightly with cinnamon and sugar mixture.
2. In a large bowl, cream butter and 3 cups sugar. Mix in eggs, mashed bananas, sour cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Mix in salt, baking soda and flour. Stir in nuts. Divide into prepared pans.
3. Bake for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean (it takes 1 hr 20 minutes in my oven!).

It Begins

Christmas!
EEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!!!!

The Christmas tunes are a rockin' at my house, rather prematurely in Clarke's opinion (bah humbug, handsome!). I made good on the promise to start Christmas cheering our house as soon as Halloween was over and I'm almost ready to deck the halls, baby!

What's that you say?
What about Thanksgiving?
You mean that man's holiday?
Gah!

I'm already contemplating how to *bling* my ornaments from last year, what goodies to make for the neighbors and friends, and handmade gifts that will *wow* everyone!!!
Not to mention designing Christmas cards and gift tags.
All these joyful Christmas thoughts make me giddy!!!

Is anyone else as crazyhappyexcited about Christmas?

Scary Things.

Today's blog post is about scary things!

Like sewing machines.

After 6 1/2 years, I finally summoned up the courage to brush the cobwebs off the sewing machine Clarke bought me for my 24th birthday and take it out of the box. Yes, THE box that was in the BACK of my closet, aptly hidden from sight!

I removed the scary looking machine from the box, placed it on the table and plugged it in.

We regarded one another in trepidation and perplexity, and most likely abject fear on the part of the sewing machine....

What in the world did I think I was going to do with a sewing machine???
Me? The girl who would rather buy a new shirt than replace a missing button!

I was going to sew Brock's Halloween costume, of course!
(you can pick your jaw up off the floor now)
Yes, I let naivety guide me on this one.

After three hours of cussing, re-reading the instruction manual and finally turning the knobs and pushing a few buttons I figured it out. Or I should say, that the sewing machine and I came to a compromise. We agreed that it would sew Brock's costume if I promised to put it away promptly and not take it out again unless it was an emergency. Dealio!

Together, the sewing machine and I created a very scary thing....


A Pirate!



An even scarier thing was the pirate's name....


Captain Scum Beard.
I kid you not!

Brock and I had a long talk about why that isn't such a great name for a pirate.
We settled on Captain Brock in the end.


The scary doesn't end here, though...


Because this menacing expression might just be the scariest of all:

(I think that guy relishes in butchering pumpkins. Eek!)


The scariest thing of all, though, is something that will make your thighs jiggle in anticipation and send your scale frantically running for cover at the pure horror of this:

Yes, INDIVIDUAL Devil's Food with Snickers cakes.

I made Oreo truffles for Halloween too. But the pure horror of these decadent little monstrosities is simply too much for the camera (and someone forgot to take their picture.....*blushes*).
I'll just post the recipe instead, which is scary, indeed:

1 pkg of Oreo cookies
8 oz. pkg of cream cheese

Crush the cookies and mix with the *room temp* cream cheese.
Form into 1" balls and place on parchment paper (on a cookie sheet)
Place in the fridge for 1+ hours.

2 pkgs of candy melts or 1 pkg of almond bark

Melt candy in the microwave. Dip each Oreo ball into the melted candy
and place on a parchment sheet to dry. For a scary addition, add 1 M&M and call the finished truffle a Monster Eyeball. Or for an even bigger scare, you can DOUBLE the recipe....

Eat with a big glass of milk and a SCARY movie!

Lickety.....SPLIT!

Thanks a lot, Mother Nature for your freakish gale-force winds.
I'm sure our decimated willow thanks you too.

We anticipated losing a tree in the 50 mph wind last night, but had no idea that the sacrifice to this HELLatious storm would be the biggest beast of a tree in our yard!!!!

Cake.

Ordinarily, I'm not a channel flipper.
In other words, I don't mindlessly pick up the remote and scroll through hundreds of channels, casually narrowing down my options until I find the one show that is guaranteed to entertain. However, last night as I considered the pile of clean laundry on my bed, screaming "fold me," I powered on the TV in the hopes of finding something to keep my mind off the task at hand. A short stroll through my options and I found exactly what I needed. On TLC.

Culinary porn under the guise "Cake Boss."

Wowie! Wow! Wow!

An inexplicable and delicious thrill tingled through me as I settled down amongst the clean socks and jeans because cake is one of my most favorite subjects on the planet!!!!

Even more joyful was the fact that it was a back-to-back marathon of 'Cake Boss' episodes. Kind of explains the bag under my eyes today.

Clarke joined me, armed with a pile of insurance forms to be filled out. Like the fate of the laundry that sat untouched, the insurance forms were soon forgotten as we both stared in amazement and caloric delight at the screen.
Cake paradise.
Fondant. Butter cream. Chocolate.
Hello. Yum. Drool.

If you haven't seen 'Cake Boss' yet, you need to. But, be sure to wear a bib. You'll drool.



P.S. Clarke told me he'd kill me if I told anyone he watched a show on TLC and enjoyed it. So, shhhhh!